Dedicated to Sanh
by WaJB
Summary: Quatre in a toga? Trowa doing everything in sight? Including Dorothy? And Relena! What is going on! The SEQUEL to Dedicated to Maree! She's back and she has a FRIEND!


DISCLAIMER:  READ THIS AT YOU OWN RISK.  Every Gundam character in this fic is EXTREMELY OOC!!!! EXTREMELY!!!! I mean it!! There are so many hints and innuendos and blatant …umm…^stuff^ that you will be very, very scared after it or you may think its funny…but I doubt it!  

Dedicated to Sanh – OHMIGOD! The sequel to Dedicated to Maree!!!! Run for your lives!!!!!!!!!!!

By: J.B. Santiago

JB is sitting innocently by computer, trying to type up the sequel to Colours of Life…BUT nothing!  The screen is blank and its been like that for seven hours already…

BANG!

POW!

POOF!

JB stars wide eyed at the door that's just been mangled and destroyed.  JB's sister, JA is standing there (wearing a rather spiffy white straight jacket) huffing and puffing, with evil gleam in her eyes.

JB: (Is shocked but manages to stutter out) How-how did you get out?!

JA walks up to JB and starts laughing (very BUHAHAHAHA laughing).  She grins her horribly crooked teeth and says: A white padded room with twelve guards, iron walls, electric fencing and twenty Rottweilers can't keep me from you! (laughs again, sitting on the computer desk).

JB: (gulps and tries to edge away from JA but she blocks the way):  What-what do you want?!

JA gives her an incredulous look: A SEQUEL! And this time on Sanh! (She pauses dramatically) DUH!!

JB just stares at her and faints at the…umm…request.  

JA: (sighs and shakes JB until she's awake) I figure if you not going to hurry up and do the sequel to TCoL, you might as well do a sequel to Dedicated to Maree!  Now right! I mean write!! (she points a still in straight jacket hand at JB, threateningly).

JB gulps and starts madly typing…

Dedicated to Sanh

By: J.B. Santiago (against her will by J.A. Santiago)

Quatre R. Winner was completely butt naked.  (JA: EEP! You can't start like that!  JB: Do you want me to write this or not?  JA: (grumbles) fine fine.)  Anyway, Quatre was completely butt naked in Trowa's bed. (JA: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!?!!?!  JB: Could you just let me TYPE!?!?!  ^slap!^).  ANYWAY!!!  Quatre naked in Trowa's bed. OK?!  Sheesh…He was sleeping soundly, when an audible **pop** was heard.  Then a very loud **thud**.  Then some obscene language as a figure tried to untangle themselves from the drawers that they had landed on and had fallen on top of them.  Quatre stirred getting up suddenly, to see the drawers moved around like some twisted hunchback of Notre Dame thing.  He momentarily forgot he was naked and got up to help the poor drawers.

Quatre:  Here let me help you, poor drawers of Trowa's.  (He heaved – yes heaved – the drawers up to reveal a chumpy, round, tallish girl with a wide face, that permanently gave off the expression of "huh?"  The girl stared at Quatre's chest then travelled downwards until she shrieked and fainted on spot.  Quatre finally remembering he was naked, grabbed the sheets and made a pretty good impression of a Greek toga. Quatre fervently prayed to Allah that this girl wasn't like that crazy fanfic writer JB, who had kidnapped him months ago (JB: HEY!!! I thought you wanted me to write this!   JA: Yeah, but the people deserve to know the truth!)  He tried to wake the girl up, but she was now snoring peacefully and his gentle slaps weren't waking her up.  Quatre sighed, why did this always happen to him? (granted this was the FIRST time this sort of thing had happened to him).  He went to the kitchen and picked up a saucepan full of that hideous soup Catherine makes.  Walking over to the sleeping form, he carefully tipped it over the girls face.

Girl: AAGGH!!!!!!!!! YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!!!!!!!! AAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  (The girl shot up from the floor and ran around like a headless chicken, screaming).

Quatre waited patiently for her to calm down but when she didn't after ten minutes he, pulled her hair (as gently as he could) halting her in her tracks.

Quatre:  Could you please tell me who you are and what you're doing in Trowa's bedroom?

Girl stares at Quatre, finally realising who was in front of her:  Ughh…I'm Sanh…OHMIGOD! OHMIGOD! OHMIGOD!  QUATRE!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!  (She glomped onto Quatre, screaming giddily now, the soup all but forgotten)

Quatre tried to pry himself from the crazy girl, Sanh, but Sanh had suddenly stopped screaming crazily and had pushed away from Quatre, staring at him strangely.  Quatre suddenly wished Sanh was hugging him again, her scary look was freaking him out.

Sanh: (still staring strangely at Quatre)…Were in Trowa's room? … And you're wearing a sheet? … (it all clicks into her mind) OHMIGOD!!!! (starts laughing hysterically)  Wait until JA finds out!!!!  Hehehehe….(And her laugh continues on)

Quatre too confused asks a stupid question: JA?  Who's JA?

Sanh: (still laughing idiotically) JA?  Oh she's my best friend…. Who's OBCESSED with you and Dorothy being together.  She figures, since Dorothy stabbed you, you two belong together! (starts laughing again)

Quatre turns an interesting shade of red (his chest looks like it's a Santa suit):  Uggh… Miss Dorothy and I…uhhh…. (he gulps, as the scar gives a little twinge)

Sanh:  Finally starts getting her brain working (she's a bit slow, really, really SLOW).  OHMIGOD!  I must be in the Sequel to Dedicated to Maree!  Meanign JA has broken out from that mental place thing, JB put her in!  Cool!  That means I get you! (She points to Quatre, who starts to edge away from crazy girl).  

Sanh stands on the bed and screams to the ceiling:  JA!!  I told you!!!  Now, JB, make me skinner, smarter and less smellier! (is that a word?)

A whole heap of magical effects happen (all upgraded from D to C effects because Sanh is more difficult to fix then Maree).  Sanh becomes everything she asked but her face is still stuck on the permanent expression of 'Huh?'  She stomps her foot, shaking the bed:  MY FACE!! Fix my FACE!!!

More special effects and Sanh's facial expression changes from 'huh?' to 'duh'.  Sanh grumbles and shakes her hand at the ceiling.  

Voice from the ceiling (JB):  Hey!  I'm not a miracle worker!!! Sheeshh… (slap!  Stop hitting me with your straight jacket!)

Sanh: fine, fine…Hey!  Where's Quatre!?  (She stares at the empty trailer and runs out the door in search of Quatre in a toga).

MEANWHILE….A few minutes, hours, moments whatever it was, ago….

Trowa was tired.  REALLY tired.  After that whole 'Maree' fiasco, he had…ummm… "visited"(hint hint, nudge nudge) so many people…Quatre, Heero, Relena, Dorothy…hell even Howard and Mariamaia! (Before people scream out child blah blah blah, lets all say their all consenting adults ^_~).  He was currently on his way back to his trailer, where he left Quatre to ummm… "visit" Dorothy when an audible **pop** was heard and a figure half there and half NOT there appeared.  Trowa's expression actually changed into horror because of the vision before him.

Trowa:  AAGGH!!!! NO! NO! NOT MAREE!!! (This screaming shocked most of the population in the world since it came from TROWA BARTON aka. Two words per day guy)

Maree half erased and half drawn on crudely glomped onto Trowa's arm:  I don't care if I AM eleven!!  I'm going to HAVE YOU!!!

Trowa screamed again and kicked the crudely drawn Maree up into the sky and ran for his life.

Maree took a pencil from her pocket and quickly drew a bed to land on, but missed. A very loud "oof" was heard and lots of scratching as Maree tried to draw her broken self again…

MEANWHILE…somewhere else…

Sniff.  Sniff.  Sounds of nose being blown.  A wail.  Dorothy sighed.  Miss Relena had been going on like this forever now, and she STILL didn't know what she was moping about.  Having enough of watching her mope on the vid-phone Dorothy asked in THAT tone (you know the one):  What is it, Miss Relena?  Please just tell me what the problem is.

Relena sniffed and was about to wail but then she realised Dorothy was using THAT tone so answered promptly:  It's HEERO! (she yelled his name if you didn't notice)  He-he- he…(wails) slept with TROWA!!! (full blown crying now)

Dorothy arched a delicately plucked double eyebrow (My, my Trowa dear, you've been a busy boy) she smirked:  But Miss Relena, didn't you sleep with Trowa as well?  Like just a few nights ago? (Dorothy looked at her still messed up bed, **very** busy boy, Trowa).

Relena glared at Dorothy:  That's different!  

Dorothy: (smirks) How is it different? (She liked to see Relena squirm)

Relena was turning three different shades of pink and red:  Uhhh… because…because, LOOK! Just because, OK!?!  Argh! That's it!  I'm going to-to…uhh…

Dorothy:…See Trowa?

Relena:  You're right!!  I'll see him and I'll be able to sort this all out!  Do you know where he is?

Dorothy:  Probably in his trailer at the circus (She watched Relena log off without saying goodbye) ….With Quatre…(giggles evilly)  I think I'll call Heero and tell him too!

MEANWHILE….back at the circus trailer….(or outside of it)

Sanh:  Quatre! Quatre!  Come here Kitty!  Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!  (puts hands on hips and glares at the sky)  JB!  Just bring him here!  I can't play hide and seek forever, you know!

Gigantic hand from the sky grabs Quatre who is hiding behind the lion's cages.  The gigantic hand loses a grip on his leg and ends up pulling his toga off (much to the appreciation of hungry fangirls who have magically appeared)

Quatre:  EEP! (tries to hide…you know! But is unsuccessful)  Hey!  Big hand!  Please put me down!

Voice from the sky:  I don't think so!

Quatre realises it's the JB's voice and is now utterly terrified: AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

Sanh:  HEY!!!! This is supposed to be a fic about ME!!!!!  Not you and your obsession with the blond god!!!

(Another gigantic hand appears and squishes Sanh) JA:  That's for saying Quatre and Dorothy don't deserve each other!  (She picks up squished Sanh who gurgles)  And THIS (she shakes Sanh back into shape before flicking her into space) is for not worhsipping the ground Dorothy walks on! (VERY VERY EVIL LAUGHING HERE)

Quatre is now more afraid of the other gigantic hand:  JB, JB!  Please keep me away from that gigantic hand!  (JB considers this and agrees on ONE condition, she whispers it to Quatre, who shakes his head then nods defeatedly).  Quatre is placed back on the ground where he fixes his toga back into place (much to the disappointment of the fangirls who disappear magically).  A huge raucous is heard and JA's gigantic hand disappears…

Quatre starts to run for cover when he runs straight into Trowa who looks really really scared. 

Quatre:  Trowa!

Trowa:  AAGGHH!!!!!  (and continues running)

Quatre: (sitting on his cute little butt) wha?

Relena:  Quatre?  (helps Quatre up)  Have you seen Trowa?  I need to tell him, I can only sleep with him when Heero's away on missions.

Quatre stares at Relena like she's just grown two heads – no make that 12 heads:  WHAT?!!  Sleep?  With TrowA?!?!

Dorothy appears behind the two:  Good plan, Miss Relena, that allows me to sleep with him at least twice a week!

Quatre's eyes have turned into gigantic saucers:  WHAT?!!?

Howard walks past them, carrying a bunch of daisies, wearing a rather suit-ish Hawaiian shirt and shorts, muttering something about Trowa being his true love or something like that…

The trio stare at Howard who knocks on Trowa's empty trailer… Quatre was about to tell Howard, Trowa wasn't there when a hideously drawn…THING…runs past them, yelling "TROWA! TROWA!"

Heero gets out a gun and shoots it on spot.  JB takes out a better eraser and wipes Maree clear off the page.  Trowa runs out of his hiding place behind Catherine:  HEERO! (suspiciously sounding like Relena)  My HERO! (Runs towards Heero, romantic slow-mo like)

Heero:  (puts hand out in a signal of STOP)  Trowa.  You slept with Quatre. (Trowa stops the slow-mo run and returns to his kinda normal self and nods)  You slept with Dorothy.  (Trowa nods again, having NO idea where Heero is going with this)  You slept with Howard. (Nods again).  You slept with RELENA!  How dare you!?!?!  WE could have had a THREESOME! (Everyone facefaults).

JB with no JA anymore (back into the looney bin, DEAR sister!): This is BEYOND strange!  (She types a few things in and a **pop** is heard)

There standing next to Trowa is none other than Midii Une!

Midii:  Huh?  (looks at self)  Oh cool!! I'm in anime form!  Yeah!  Finally away from the drabness of MANGA! Yeah!  (does a little jig while everyone stares at the new psycho chick).

Trowa:  Midii?  (gets all lustful)  I haven't 'visited' you, yet!  (grabs onto Midii and makes a mad dash for it, both disappearing into the horizon).

Heero "hn'd"  and carried Relena away from the circus, muttering about visiting Duo and Hilde for…ummm… some 'visiting' (as Trowa put it).

Quatre in his toga looks at around him disbelievingly:  What-what happened?

Howard has big tears in his eyes (their so big, his sunglasses don't cover them):  Trowa…Trowa…(whimpers before running away)

Dorothy stares at Howard running away and then back at Quatre's rather revealing toga outfit.  She gets a rather evil glint in her eyes, as she grabs Quatre and pushes him into Trowa's trailer, slamming the door shut.

Catherine stares at the sky, then at the lion's cages, then at Trowa's trailer that is moving rather…uhhh…suggestively…

Catherine:  Why am I even in this fic?  (Shakes head and goes back to whatever she was doing before JB typed her name in).

THE END….

Sometime later….

Quatre sighed.  Before knocking on the door.  JB opens it and grins widely.

JB: Hi! Hi!  What took you so long?!

Quatre:  (turns red like an overripe tomato)  Umm…. Dorothy has a LOT of endurance….I left when she fell asleep.

JB gives him a suspicious look:  It's been over four DAYS….Oh well!  I forgive you!  Now lets get started! 

Quatre sighs again, this was so unfair but if it kept those crazy nuts JA and Sanh away from him, then well he'd do this.  Even if it was humiliating.  He put on the gear.

Quatre:  Do I have to be her again?

NOW IT'S THE END!! (BUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!)

Person who wrote this catastrophe:

Before any of you ask, no I'm not high on anything! ^_~  So what was Quatre's humiliating condition he has to do to keep crazy girls away from him?  Uhh…I don't know!  Hehe!  You guys can imagine something!  You know, who ever said the sequel is always longer than the original was RIGHT!!! About two thousands words right! ^_^  I'm expecting flames people! FLAMES!!! Or C&C and R&R, whichever your happy with! Bye! ^_^   OH!  And before anyone asks, I AM WORKING ON the SEQUEL to TCoL  (I have more than just a blank page!)


End file.
